...Well, mine is kind of Russian too, but I think he'd take offence if you called him that above everything else. [Trying to compare all the other things.] And I don't know about tatoos, but he definitely isn't tall and doesn't have a beard. Your description sounds more like Russia or Sweden, though they don't have beards, either...

[Thinking hard on this.] Your one sounds more like people would imagine him, though.

[A bit disappointedly:] we really seem to be from different worlds.